Am I American Anymore?

It’s been three months since I’ve been back to the United States and I must say plenty has changed. Although places and faces remain the same, the air just feels different. 

As you all know, recently my husband and I relocated from the sandy beaches of Emirates to the green grasses of Cary. The community reminds me of Pleasantville.

The smiling faces of upper class mom’s exchanging soccer stories while holding their perfectly whipped frappe’s gives you a sense that everything is and will be alright. You can’t buy that kind of safeness. Well technically you can, move to Cary lol.

The dog walkers, joggers, and uniformed franchises is the soundtrack of this town. Now don’t get me wrong the ability to find all your needs off one major road is a luxury, however the people are predictable.

Life is good for the sub-divisions named after old civil war battles. The cost of living is lower and the jobs are plentiful. You can to live the life of manicured lawns and yoga buddies. What do these people have to be angry about? They have the money to eat healthy and live longer.

The good word about Cary has traveled up north as a lot of my fellow Jerseyians have flocked to this peaceful oasis. After residing here awhile I asked myself, are you a Caryite? Can your life be five dollar CookOut plates and cheerwine? Are you prepared to be away from the city?

My first love is New York City. It will always be special to me. Dubai grew on me due to the calmness of water and the easy living. Istanbul was a dream that I wish I could have over and over again. That city will make you fall deep in love with its culture. The celebration of African-Americans is just so overwhelming.

Now that I have traveled these distant lands, is America enough for me anymore? I miss boarding planes and stamps in my passport. The water being the alarm to my early morning rise. The understanding that my life was in a whirlwind and knowing where ever I landed would be magic. If I could take all the people I hold dear in my chest with me I would gladly leave and not return.

That is a fantasy that I know will not come true. I know it isn’t fair that I want all who I love to follow my destiny but just know my desires are so real. I imagine a life when I am all wrinkled with my husband, overlooking some of the most peaceful waters of a distance land.

Holding hands like time never past and kissing to show the youth of our hearts. I know that may sound silly to most, but it is the things I pray for.

 

To be able to turn to him and smile to confirm our beautiful life. After being among what makes me comfortable I realize that I am much more of a free spirit than I thought.

I have dreams of Jay and I going to the airport saying whatever the next flight is put us on it. Not because I am unhappy but because I miss the culture. I can’t complain because I have seen and lived in lands that some would be too afraid to go.

However, I am itching to go somewhere else. I guess this small-town girl is no longer so small. All of these thoughts leave one question on my mind, am I American anymore?

Until next time…

“Be the best possible version of yourself.”

xoxo

Jersey