Are You Really Happy Being Single?

Before marriage, I was a single girl about town. I dated, I had sex, and I enjoyed all my single experiences. I can say I was truly happy with myself and the life I was leading. I never felt l had to defend my relationship status to other couples but some people do. What do you think about single people who say “I am good alone” or “life doesn’t start after you say I do”?

The Real Daytime Talk Show had Regina Hall as a guest promoting her new movie With this Ring. The ladies of The Real talked about the production and then showed a clip from the film. In the movie it showed Regina Hall’s character at a wedding crying at the table about why she hadn’t received her “prince charming”.

After the clip Adrienne who isn’t even single said “see we are good over here.” The former Cheetah girl was referring to her and Loni. Loni co-signed with a smirk. There’s always a debate on this show between the married and unmarried.

It seems that Adrienne is always trying to prove to the other married co-hosts that her relationship is on track and Loni overcompensated for the lack there of.

My thoughts on the married people versus single people are simple. I don’t think Adrienne can talk about being single when she is in a relationship. You may not be married but you are claiming someone as a partner. Loni on the other hand is truly dating and avoids the marriage conversation altogether.

Being single is a time of self-discovery. When you are dating different people you are supposed to be learning about yourself.

I think being single is very important to even being with a partner. You need to have your own experiences. These experiences are windows to a person who you would eventually want to marry or have a long-term partnership with.

Being single and dating helps you find your greatest connection by the interaction of multiple people. Now this method only works if you’re taking something away from the experiences you’ve had. You have to digest, understand, and filter when you go back out there dating the next time.

Now if you are dating the same type of person then these patterns are telling you that you’ve learned nothing. Being single or not being attached can lead to promising things. However, no one aspires to be alone or live through other people’s experiences. It is human nature to love and to be love in a real way.

Everyone wants someone who they can hold, love, and see themselves in. You should only be alone if the person who is in your space makes you feel that way when you are with them. Loni makes the statement of being alone all the time. Although I think underneath that statement she may feel that choosing her career over her first marriage was selfish.

So to soothe her in that pain she deflects. As for Adrienne she has made it no secret that she wants to be married with children. Yet her longtime boyfriend has not proposed. It is difficult to be in a situation with a man who isn’t ready to move forward when you’re in love. The question is how long are you willing to wait until the person is? Are you really “alright” over there Adrienne or do you have to be?

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It is so rare and precious to find someone you can be one with. That doesn’t mean perfection it means someone who respects, honors, and protects you. The people who say life doesn’t start after you say I do are lying. You enter a whole new chapter in your life. One of responsibility, unselfishness, and team work.

Being married for the right reasons outside of the cuteness of being Mrs. so and so is amazing. It means so much more than the change of a last name or a big wedding party. The core of it all is the commitment across the entire board. The commitment legally and emotionally. The people who enter into this arrangement for the right reasons are saying to one another “you are apart of me”.

Even though those things are beautiful sometimes married people can be a judgemental to those who haven’t found someone. People connect in their time not yours. When it’s their time to find someone they will.

I don’t think married people have the right to frown or look down upon people who aren’t with someone yet. It is also not your job to treat single people like a charity case. You don’t have to fix them because you feel their lives are so lonely. Let people live on their own terms as you did before marriage.

In the end being alone is never the real option for anyone. Living through other people around you doesn’t help either. It is natural to want and have something of your own.

What are your thoughts?