Casual Sex a Learning Experience?

Sex is such a crucial part of adult development and the interactions with the opposite sex. I definitely think it is a time of self discovery. Some say that sex is overrated and we should focus on getting to know the person. So if that is the case how do we handle the natural urge to just do it? Men have the urge as early as middle school and women high school. Not to say some libido’s in women don’t flare a little earlier than high school. I was a late bloomer. I was terrified of sex and all that came with it.

I had a scary single mother who was not interested in taking care of an extra child as a result of a teenage escapade. I remember my mom’s talks about sex to me like it was yesterday. She would say things like “If you have a baby young, forget about your time because you won’t have any” or my favorite ” Have sex and you will get disease you won’t be able to get rid of and let me add to that my friend I’m not raising no baby Isha!”  So let’s just say I understood and remained disease free without a baby.

When I finally had sex though I was horrified all of those things would come to pass that she warned me about. It is probably part of the reason why I didn’t enjoy it. Yea and the fact that he was a two pump chump who lasted three minutes. Sadly that’s how long my first time was. It was not enjoyable in any way. I fucking blinked and it was over. Abracadabra bitch! Unfortunately that wasn’t my worst moment in sexual history it involves me as unsatisfied woman and a ham sandwich. I know you are like a ham sandwich? Really? That’s whole other blog entirely.

By having that experience although not enjoyable nor making fireworks in my pants I did learn somethings I like and don’t like about having sex. Which leans back to the subject at hand is casual sex necessary in order for you to know what you need in the bedroom? Some would disagree due to society’s truth about how women should appear but I agree. I think you need to sample men if it’s right to see how you have evolved sexually and to have a better understanding of what your body requires at the time of sexually activity.

I look at men like food, you try some and you will remember the flavor forever then some just leave a bad taste in your mouth altogether. I do think we need to put ourselves at the table of men to sample so we can know what cuisine reigns supreme. This method of action does create a problem in society for women. If women start sampling we have to remain discreet not just because we don’t want everyone in our business but out of fear you will be called a harlot. Men can be direct and out loud about their sexuality in the interim it gets them more sex and a pat on the back. So basically it’s a win/win for them.

We live in a society were women are supposed to always reserve themselves in a dignified manner in order to keep their character in place. This is what we are told by men in order to keep us from knowing better. Why do they get to satisfy their sexual appetite in the open and we have to keep it in the dark? I know most people would say a woman who has a healthy sex life is promiscuous.

I don’t feel women should be considered promiscuous if they are single and occasionally have sex on their terms.I feel there is a difference between a woman who has sex because she enjoys it with a high body count than a woman who just has sex with anybody for attention or money. I don’t think a female is a whore because of how many people she has slept with. Its when she doesn’t respect for herself in the process that makes a woman a whore.

A woman who has no standards of who she sleeps with is a whore. A woman who is smashed by the homies and has no remorse on how that looks is a whore. I feel a woman can screw whomever she wants as long as a dude respects her when she’s done. What I mean by that is when she is spoken of he has the highest regard and he remains pleasant in conversation. She gained respect by making sure that he is clear on what she will tolerate and how she carries herself.

This man will not take the opportunity to discuss her with his people’s as if she could be passed off to a homeboy due to him knowing her boundaries. These boundaries vary by female but this is their list that demands respect. When a female is respected then she is never the chick that is being whispered about. Whores are not made from the increase of sexual partners but the lack of respect from those men that were slept with.I think whore or the term boils down to respect. So as long as you respect yourself you should have no problem on a sexual quest whether you indulge on weekends or every so often. What do you think  is casual sex a help or a hurt for men or women?

xoxo

Jersey