Diary of a Mad Fat Woman!

I am pissed off by the unrealistic values and goal sets placed on me solely because I am a woman. I can’t stand how the world is designed against us yet we’re the very reason it continues. It’s funny how I have yet to see a man in a maternity ward giving birth yet he is constantly celebrated. Society throws parades for men and there flaws. I am mad that since I was a little girl society has taught me that I need to be domestic, skinny, and silent.

I really can’t stand the messages that are sent to our young girls. Their role models are all women who have been nipped, tucked, and photoshopped. Then the youth along with adult women die trying to compete with these images that simply aren’t real. I am a plus size woman and the media portrays me as either nasty, depressed, unhealthy and desperate. Then these messages transcend to the public as hardcore facts. Let’s be clear anything above a size 4 in the media is consider fat which is simply not true!

The real woman can never get a break. Speaking as a plus size woman I’ve never had any issues attracting men, getting men, or having a social life. Which media sends messages that I should. It says that the men who date me are only looking for an easy win or into some sort of fetish. It’s like the men who are attracted to women like me have to some sort of reason for their fascination. Here is a thought, all men are attracted to all different women! People like what they like! Why is that so hard to believe? It makes me want to scream at these absurd stereotypes.

Movies, magazines, and television have always sent messages to the “chubby” girl and the real woman that she was never good enough. The message is that there is only one type of sexy. This is easy to believe when that shit is played over and over again.

Are their any commercials with full-figured women or women above a size 0 modelling underwear swinging from vines and telling you about the new bra? How many times a day do you look at television and see someone who resembles you? I know as a plus size woman I hardly do!

As a plus size woman I’ve heard comments like “She’s pretty for a big girl.” “Wow look how confident she is for a big girl.” “Her man is very handsome for a big girl” It’s like why are these statements even made? Why do magazines, newspapers, and television tell me only the thin win? Why do these statements even live to see the light of day when there are physical people living their life the opposite way? When a plus size girl finds someone to love her it is a miracle according to others.This breaks my heart when I think about the chubby girl who feels this is a one in a million chance.

Men who are fat don’t have it as hard because men are groomed to be in a place to choose. As a woman society/media feels we should be married and with child by a certain age. We are told if we are passed 30 and not “settled” than we must be the problem. We might as well be shunned. No baby or husband? What the hell have you been doing on this earth without either one? These two things validate a women’s purpose and existence duh?

The men on the other hand can be in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s and still be deemed as the forever bachelor. The unattainable guy. The man who can’t be tied down. This gives the men a mystique and sexiness while women of a certain age are dried up. These double standards make me fucking crazy. I know as I write this blog someone is calling me bitter, judgemental, or a man hater. The thing is I don’t hate men at all. I hate the luxuries that the media has offered them that weren’t offered to me.

As women we are the most critical of ourselves and I ask myself why? It’s not because we have self-hatred it’s because it is the constant pressure to be this unrealistic sight of perfection to get ahead. From birth we are in constant competition because of it. Men don’t fuss over their bodies because they are taught early who you are is enough and there will always be someone for you whether fat, skinny, or in between.

This is what I want to say to all women of every size love yourself. Be bold and never try to fit into the ideals of someone else or other people. Stop focusing on the things you hate and more on the things you love. The features we see as faults are what makes us well us. Those are the characteristics that separate us from every other woman. They make us special and different.

Speaking to my plus size/real women bareians you are beautiful and never forget it. You don’t have to prove your beauty to anyone but yourself. What is on the inside shines through to the outside. I recently wore a bikini for the first time on the beach and it was the most liberating moment of my life. I broke a barrier between thin and plus size by allowing myself to have the feeling of belonging. I wore that bikini to show myself that I am fearless, beautiful, and most importantly proud.

Being healthy is a very important thing but so is loving yourself. I hope that these words have touched someone and changed their opinion on themselves. Stand up ladies and look society in the eye then shout “FUCK YOU I am beautiful as I am!”

PS Always remember be the best possible version of yourself!

xoxo
Jersey