I Can’t Stand “Sometime” People!

Do you have people in your life who are only present when they need something? Do you sometimes feel like these relationships with these people are a lot of work? Today I am going to tell you how you can handle the “sometime” friend or family member.

Family and friends are the corner stone of our social lives. The social interactions with these people make life easier and more fulfilling. Although they bring joy to our lives they can also bring stress. Being around people who are only present when the chips are down is confusing and manipulative.

Generally these people create a grand show of attention whoring to grab on your heart strings so you can become emotionally involved. Then once they trap you in their emotion and they get the outcome they seek they are gone. So you think to yourself how is this fair?

I use to have several friendships and family members that treated me in this manner but this is what I did to change that. When someone is asking you to become emotionally invested in a situation see if that is something you can afford.

I would put my emotions first despite the situation to see how my involvement would affect me. I would also think of prior issues and the relationship I had with the individual there after. If I find that the person who is asking for emotional support is a user of time and love I have to approach the situation accordingly.

For example I had a friend who was in a very bad relationship. This person would only come around when things were not going well romantically. Then when things were back to normal they would vanish and their significant other would hate me. Their partner would be upset with me for commenting on the relationship. Advising the individual once they had jumped their emotional hurdle that I wasn’t a good friend.

This use to piss me off to high heavens because I was invested. Then I had to change my thought process and really understand what I was dealing with. Understanding a person and their actions are critical to a friendship or love of a family member. You always have to keep in mind that how they react to you is how they react to everyone.

Never take it personal because this is their behavior towards everyone. With that knowledge start to put up your boundaries and do what you feel is best when they seek assistance. Boundaries are very important in your interaction between these people.

People only do what you allow so it is up to you to tell them “NO!” I don’t live by the credo “treat others how they treat you.” My thought process is treat people how you want to be treated with limitations. Always be a good friend because that speaks volumes of yourself not a reflection of another.