Is Your Relationship Standing Still?

In my opinion relationships are supposed to evolve. A union should continuously flow in a positive way. A courtship just like water if it stands still infection will grow. Which lead me to this question, why do women stay in relationships that are stagnant?

I came up with three possible reasons why women end up here:

Selection Process

Lack of Respect and Love For Self 

Predictability 

Selection Process 

Believing in an empty promise is a representation of a false reality. I think women create their ideal man in their mind and try to impose that on a guy who simply doesn’t have these qualifications. You can’t make anyone be who you want them to be. When selecting a man you should always keep in mind if we join together will this improve both our lives? Is this a person who is responsible? Could he be someone I can depend on? How does he treat himself? How does he treat me? Then ask yourself are you in a place to attract this kind of man?

If you are still dealing with hurt from past encounters then maybe you should work on that before approaching the dating world.  It is fine to put a man on a trial bases to see if he could be what you need but you can’t convict him for someone else’s love crime. There is a real difference between that. Remember men can only pretend for a short period before who they really are slips out. At that point it is up to you to accept or choose not to engage.

Lack of Self Respect and Self Love 

No one will respect you unless you do. Women are really the ones who set the tone of the relationship. With confidence know what you are looking for and let the man know these things have to be done in order to continue. Make your own rules.

You give off the signals of what is and what is not acceptable. Men simply just read them and follow. Women have to find respect and love within themselves before trying to bring on someone else. If you don’t really love you than how is anyone else supposed to? To improve self-love you can do things that are confidence boosters.

If you love to write then break out that paper and pen. If you love fashion, dress to kill. Affirmations work as well. Be your first compliment of the day. Tell you how beautiful you are and you deserve everything that is great.

You have to believe. That is really the point. Don’t just do or say things that you don’t believe. Once you build this up you are already on your way.

Predictability 

Most women tend to be attracted to the same kind of man because they can predict the outcome. Women will date men that they know will hurt them in the end. As odd as it sounds it is a way for them to prepare for the pain they have experienced time and time again. It’s like driving down a road and the signs are telling you its a dead end and you keep driving to only be surprised that you can’t go any further. Women who date like this are always surprised when these men dog them. When going to the man buffet stop picking the same dish knowing it makes you sick. Try something new and you never know it maybe the best thing for you. 

Live outside the box you have created. It’s not like your way has been working. What do you have to lose?

One More Thing…

Time spent isn’t the equivalent of marriage. Just because you are with a man for several years doesn’t make you his wife under the law. You are simply someone who is playing house. It’s cute when he is calling you wifey and telling his friends but the reality is your not. If that dude gets hurt or in trouble they are not required to give you any information. Nor can you make any decisions in reference to this man you call “hubby”. In the eyes of the law you are just an empty space waiting to be filled.

Engagement means nothing either. If a man puts a ring on your finger than it needs to be followed by paperwork. Being engaged for more than 3 years is just stupid. It is way too simple to get married. If you are in love and he is for you than go to the courthouse for less than 100 dollars and make it legal. There is really no valid excuse to be engaged for extended periods of time.

If you already said yes why are you in a holding pattern? Don’t be the girl who wears the “hush” ring. Think about it.

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