Life is a Layer Cake

This morning I woke up thinking about friendship and life. I thought about what kind of friend I am and have been. I am the type of friend who tells you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it.

I am the friend who offers advice and an listening ear. I feel that out of all my friends I am for lack of better words a dumping ground. A dumping ground for issues or consistencies that some refuse to change from within.

I am also the friend who if things are going wrong I will keep it to myself. Although I have a large personality I am a very private person. I believe I don’t express myself because I feel people think I have it figured out due to my analytical outlook on life. Little do they know I am working towards a better me everyday.

I am flawed just like everyone else. I spoke with my cousin the other day and she said “You think your always right.” This is a constant joke against me due to my Virgo sign. My zodiac reveals that I like to be on the side of right. It also says I am born leader and I see the world for what it is. Never black and white. I personally don’t think I am always right. Who I am constantly seeks information which increases my odds of being right.

To be honest the wrong moments in my life have been the most important experiences in my development. The wrongs and the things I avoided due to my gut have shaped me. As much as it is cool to be right the wrong is what increases right situations.

I also thought about the fact that some say that I am a comedian and a good storyteller. It brought me back to a conversation with my husband where I told him that some of my friends take my humor as an inadequacy in my intelligence.

I believe a select few of my friends think I am truly an idiot despite my educational/life accomplishments. In their minds I have been placed in the corner with a dunce hat and red nose. Although their placement ultimately isn’t where I see myself.

My ability to make people laugh is what’s natural to me. I make myself and others laugh due to my dislike of pain. I remember making jokes at Jay’s grandpa’s funeral because it healed me in those moments of uncertainty. At the time I thought of my own grandfather who has been one of the consistent loves in my life. Goodbyes are always harder than hello’s right?

I miss you grandpa. I hope your infectious laugh is making God smile because it always warmed my heart while you were with us. It’s funny how the circle of life always help you put things back in prospective. It always reminds us of what’s really important and how temporary we are.

So I’d rather laugh with those I love because our time here is a blink of an eye. Smiles are the confirmation of happiness and the recovery of love that could have been lost.

At home words like “see you next week” implied all the time we have in the world. Now that I am in Dubai I long for the time I can’t get back. I love this experience of sand, sun, and culture. God knows I’m so grateful to be well-traveled but I always long for hugs from my family especially my mother.

She has always been the solidifier that I am loved. She has no idea how happy I am for her. This is the first time in her life that she can do whatever she wants without worrying about me. She makes me proud everyday. I was lucky and blessed to have her. I know she is reason why I am who I am. She is always the voice in my head that says “Make your own way and no is only an excuse for you do it yourself.”

I know there is much more for me to do but I just had that off my mind this morning. I needed to write. The layer cake we call life always comes with icing and boy it has been sweet. I bared it all be blessed friends.

Thanks for reading

Jersey