The Lies Told About Marriage!

I thought this article about marriage was hilarious and I had to share it with my Bareians. Now some of the lies about marriage are just obvious but some I disagree with. I just wanted to comment on a few lies the Huff Post revealed.

“You lived together for a while, so you’re already ‘married'”

My thoughts are before orchestrating the show called a “wedding” mentally you should feel married. Let me explain that. When you get married to someone you should already feel that level of commitment and love as if you stood in front of family, friends, and God. The tux, bridesmaids, and white dress is for you but more for everyone else to see.

Now living together does help you make a decision about investing in a marriage with that person. Living with someone helps you see who they really are and not the representative they send during dates or occasional sleep overs. While watching this person you can see if that is something you can deal with long term. After awhile people get comfortable and let it all hang out. Then you will be able to see if that is the one. Yes like the article says you do have the opportunity to run when just living with someone but marriage doesn’t mean bondage. It is just a little harder to get out of due to paper work. 

“You won’t have to worry about money anymore!”

If you were worrying about money when you all were just a couple, nine times out of ten you will worry when your married. Merging finances are difficult and money is funny even for the rich. Someone in the relationship needs to be smart with the money at all times. Then there isn’t any problems. If your mate is better with money than you are than let them help you. Don’t be offended. Look at it as a teaching moment. Understand by letting someone else have the upper hand while you learn is the smartest thing you can do for the relationship. 

“Don’t worry, after a few years with you, he’ll come around.”

If your mate was an asshole prior to the “I Do” than he will most likely be an asshole when you do. Situations don’t change men, they change themselves. This honestly goes for any gender. The individual needs to see the fault and want to change their actions to be a better. No one changes anyone. Marriage does not make anyone a better person. People are better because they have found a better purpose within to change. So if you think by locking your idiot boyfriend/girlfriend down will make them brand new you are mistaken.

Here are the Rest of the Lies from Huff Post:

“You’ll never be lonely again.” — Who says you have to be alone to be lonely? It’s only natural that when you get married, you see your other friends and family less — which can feel really, really lonely at times.

“You’ll have so much more fun than you did in your single days. You won’t miss those times one bit.” — Yeah, right. Find me one married woman who doesn’t fantasize about reliving crazy nights in college, that girls’ weekend in Vegas, or even a day spent lying on the couch watching movies alone simply because she could — and I’ll probably faint in disbelief.

“Trust me, you’ll love everything about your spouse — because that’s what marriage is all about!” — Gag me with a spoon. Loving every single aspect of a person, even their disgusting habits and annoying quirks? That’s just not realistic. For example, do you know one woman who finds her husband farting in bed, smoking, belching, scratching his balls, etc. endearing? (Probably not. And you’ll be her at some point down the road, I promise.)