Woman Plans to Marry the Tree She Has Sex With!

Closer Magazine did an interview with 31-year-old Emma McCabe who claims to be in love with a tree named Tim. Emma also mentions their sexual relationship!

Emma explained to the magazine that she had been in a string of bad relationships until she found Tim the tree. She even described her sexual activity with the tree.

He fulfills my emotional and sexual needs. I orgasm by rubbing against the bark naked. I love the feeling of skin-on-bark contact, which gives me a more pleasurable pain sensation, and the feel of his leaves against my skin makes me tingle. I have sex with him every week — it’s the best I’ve ever had!

Although they have sex once a week she claims the relationship is mostly spent talking. Could you imagine this chick while your walking down the street having a conversation with a tree? What do they talk about it? So Tim, tell me about your roots?

The magazine asked if she was attracted to other trees and Emma said no. She claims that she does look but she would never cheat on Tim.

Emma also talked marriage. She even described what kind of ceremony she wanted to have with her wooded lover.

I’d like to get married but it would be a low-key ceremony with family. People may judge me, but Tim makes me happier than any man.

It’s clear that Emma could possibly be suffering from some sort of mental disorder. After further investigation the disorder could be dendrophilia. This is a disorder for people who are attracted to trees.

I can’t lie this story made me laugh but it also made me sad. Its obvious why it’s funny but the sad part is how a person can be hurt so badly they can lose their mind.

I don’t claim to know this woman’s life but she most definitely needs help. I guess the highlight in having sex with a tree is no STD’s. The whole rubbing your breast on the bark can be dangerous though. You can get splinter titties.

Somebody needs to call Iyanla and ask her does she know anything about fixing chicks who has sex with trees called Tim.